President Trump, here is my filed pardon petition. For the merits of it, please pardon me. Reward me for the scar on my face for my loyal support. Help grow NewsBall so I can spread your message further. I know you like a good rivalry, so granting me a pardon will help my life trajectory put me on Newsmax to rival Maria Bartiromo, who has silenced me enough over the years. She will retire soon anyways – I can fiercely defend your legacy & be ready to support your future causes.
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